As I was sat in a scorching hot bubble bath this evening while singing horrendously along to a Real Friends playlist. A new song that I had never heard from them started playing. The second I heard the lyrics, it made me think about a lot of stuff.
“I’ve been neglecting who I am, that’s just who I was back then. Don’t need to be perfect, just happy.”
For a moment, I started having major flashbacks on how hard I have been on myself for the last few years. In particular, the last 12 months.
I was beaten down by myself daily, I would tell myself that I was worthless and that I wasn’t worthy of being loved by anyone. Even when I was alone, I was never really alone. I had lost all hope in everything and everyone. I wasn’t living, I was merely surviving. I was constantly haunted in my own mind.
Trying to move forward after being diagnosed with mental illnesses is something that most people don’t think is possible.
The truth is that you won’t ever move on from it, it’ll always be a part of you. That’s okay though – there’s a massive stigma attached to the concept of invisible illnesses. The whole ‘seeing is believing’ saying is utter nonsense.
We’re allowed to be messed up, we’re allowed to make mistakes. That doesn’t mean that how far you or I have come has been completely undone.
Emotions and feelings – positive or negative – are part of our everyday lives. These are completely natural and unchangeable. The thing that a lot of people don’t understand is the difference between allowing emotions in and then the actions caused because of the emotion.
I can be absolutely livid if I want to be, that’s normal! The thing that needs to be thought about are the actions that come afterwards and the consequences from those actions.
There is not and will never be a guide on how to live the perfect life. Everyone needs to figure out which route they’re going to take on their own journeys through life. People will change their routes several times before they’re on the one best for them.
Don’t be heavy-footed, looking down at the ground through life. Take a few minutes out of each day and think about the things you want most in life. Get your arse on the route that will get you there and never look back.
I used to spend so much time waiting for the future to arrive that I got lost and forgot to enjoy my life as it was – regardless of how shit it was.
You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to be happy.
If Kiwi can cope, so can you.